Please Don't Look the Other Way

It's amazing how difficult it is to  not  look away from a tragedy. You know: a deadly accident on the freeway, an ambulance pulled up at your neighbor's house, news video of dead heroes, dead terrorists, war casualties, the police dragging a bloodied suspect away in handcuffs, and the list goes on and on.

"I'm repulsed but I can't stop staring!"

For some reason,  for too many of us, that all changes when we personally are faced with the moral or ethical opportunity to assist victims of tragedy. Like the  good, moral, upright men  in Jesus' parable of The Good Samaritan, we see the victim, we stare at the victim, we may even gasp in shock; but we walk on by because we've got  more important  things to do, and besides, someone eventually will stop to help, right? Someone who doesn't have the same pressing matters that we do. You know: like the police, who get  paid to help victims of crime. And by the time we're busy doing whatever was more important than stepping in and lending a hand, our memory of the event has already begun to fade away.

Hey, I admit that I too am guilty of passing people that  I could have  helped. Like that guy on the highway, walking along the shoulder, empty gas can in hand, headed towards a service station that's 3 or 5 or 10 miles down the road. Or that teenager trying to change a flat tire using tools with which she is inexperienced. I've been changing tires for about 30 years now. I could have helped; but I did not.

I could have helped. Too many times I haven't helped. I confess and make no excuses for my inaction. There have been times in my life where I could have helped and I did not. But the fact...the reality that we have  all of us  had opportunities where  "we could have and did not"  does not reduce or negate any one bit of the moral or ethical accountability of any one when, being in a position to intervene, chooses instead to pass that responsibility to somebody else, anybody else;  "but just not me!"

I'm not just talking Penn State here. The rape of young boys by a predator with full access to the facilities at PSU made the headlines; but for every Penn State or Syracuse University, how many others are kept in the darkness, kept silent?

If estimates are correct, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys has been and/or is likely to be abused before the age of 18 (some experts even say before the age of 16!)...how many survivors have to live their entire lives carrying their darkest secrets into adulthood and sometimes even to the grave, when somebody could have intervened but did not? The majority of sexual predators are not strangers to their victims; but somebody close: family, neighbor, friend of family, coach, teacher, minister or any other  trusted  individual. While it may be true that predators are good at covering their tracks, in too many cases  somebody  knows. Somebody who could take action, do something, anything.

Learn about signs and symptoms of abuse as well as typical behavior of predators, and pay attention to what your children say and how they react in the presence of certain adults. Talk to your children about appropriate and inappropriate "touching" and conversational subject matter. If you suspect an adult of being a perpetrator, proceed with caution; but don't ignore the signs or rationalize away obviously inappropriate behavior.

Please don't look the other way. Please don't walk on by. The reality is that, in a free society, we will never be able to protect every child; but even if we can save one from the years of trauma associated with the abuse...isn't that worth it?

Speak out, speak up, report suspected abuse, protect the victims - not the offenders.

And please,  please  do not cross to the other side of the road and look the other way.